A long week

(almost) the end of a very long week - running 3 cases in a week is exhausting...

wedding photos

Anyone not already overdosed on the M&T wedding is welcome to check out a fairly random selection of photos posted up on photobucket.

A very proud moment

Just checked out the photos Lucas posted of my bucks night... Am very very proud to report that one of the photos has been deleted for violating Photobucket's terms of service.

Wow, it must have been an even better night than I remember.

How can I be the last person to blog about it? It was my f*n wedding!

Since writing my last post, I've become aware that both Lucas and Emilie have blogged (at length) about my wedding last weekend.

Lucas' post has its charms - I enjoyed the reprint of his speech - but Emilie's post is by far the better of the two, as it contains absolutely no snarky comments or allegations of totalitarian repression.

In fact I think it is worth reprinting a few short extracts from Emilie's post:

M was escorted through the gardens to the Chuppah by her parents.
Her dress was divine.
It was a golden cream sheath that had gold glass beading with thick straps.
The veil and the material of the Chuppah echoed each other.
It really was a golden experience.
The bride and groom were smiling and so was every single guest.

T and M are so different
She's a really out-doorsy engineer who'd traveled all over the world in a hardcore kind of a way and is really into things like sky-diving, rock climbing and black water kayaking
T is a Barrister, uber-educated gentle person who is into interesting things like Korean cinema.
He's a top guy.
And I love that they thrive on each other’s differences and are eager to learn, understand and experience each other’s passions.
They are a perfect human compliment.

What a great wedding!

T has restored my faith that not all Jewish boys in Melbourne are complete knobs!

In case anyone's curious, both Emilie and Lucas have included a few photos of the wedding.

The big day

M & I were married last Sunday 18 March 2007 at the Royal Botanic Gardens in Melbourne, under a big old gum tree in front of the lake. It was a perfect day and a perfect location.

The wedding was followed by an (awesome) celebration at the Observatory Cafe at the Gardens... dancing the hora, a bbq dinner, various funny & short speeches, drinking, more dancing, a Swollen Members track, then back to our house with about 20 friends to keep partying ... we had a great night and I hope those of my readers who joined us for the wedding and celebrations did too.

And we followed this up with a few days in Red Hill, which was great. Lots of relaxing, a hike along the Two Bays track and a spectacular private picnic at Montalto winery.

More wedding minutiae to follow, including possibly some photos and an edited extract of my speech.

Goodwill

BB has today posted on the Google acquisition of Youtube and the much-hyped 'fact' that the acquisition was on a price/revenue multiple of 100.

A few thoughts:
- I am surprised the multiple isn't higher... youtube would at the time of acquisition have been generating f-all revenue... it clearly wasn't bought on the basis of present revenue, but on the basis of its clear leadership of a segment in which google would consider itself the natural leader
- it is inconceivable that the price/revenue multiple would have been the deciding factor (or even a relevant factor) in determining the purchase price or the valuation. a very early stage (almost pre-revenue) company like youtube can only really be valued on the basis of its potential or else on raw belief / hype... multiples of any kind are largely meaningless
- BB writes that $1.2b of the purchase price is assigned to goodwill. From my M&A experience, 'goodwill' is that part of the purchase price that doesn't fit anywhere else... you can't fairly call it a tangible asset (eg. a computer, a chair) or an identifiable intangible asset (eg. the copyright in a software program, a trade mark). Although of course I do not hold myself out as an expert on accounting for intangibles under US accounting rules.

The Host

Great review from the New York Times of my favourite movie of 2006

It Came From the River, Hungry for Humans (Burp)

The plug-ugly monster that jumps out of a city river in “The Host” to scoop up and chomp down on those unlucky enough to cross its path — men, women, a whip-smart 13-year-old girl named Hyun-seo — looks like something you might find lurking at the bottom of a Hieronymus Bosch painting or trolling the depths of a murky restaurant aquarium in the middle of a toxic dump. Blink and it looks like something that slimed out of the sea in a creationist nightmare.

It would have to be an awfully big aquarium, as it happens, because this fishy creature, this mystery from the deep with the gulping petaled mouth and prehensile tail is the size of a school bus and restless to boot. It rushes underwater and races over ground, its sturdy little legs churning turf. Every so often it spirals into a back flip as gracefully as a prepubescent Romanian gymnast or drops into the water like a knife, scoring a perfect-10 dive. It’s as ugly as sin, this thing, but it has style to burn. As does this film, a loopy, feverishly imaginative genre hybrid from the South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho, about the demons that haunt us from without and within.

By turns a carnival of horrors and a family melodrama (variations on the same theme), “The Host” is also a rethink of those 1950s cine-quickies in which mondo ants, locusts, wasps, crabs and snails and one seriously ticked off amphibious reptile go on the rampage, visiting punishment on a hapless, guilty humanity. Like Godzilla (Gojira in the original Japanese), some of these mutants were born under a mushroom cloud; others were hatched in the B-movie hothouse of box-office opportunism. The creature running amok in “The Host,” meanwhile, was spawned by a 37-year-old South Korean who has spent his entire life in the shadow of the American military presence. No wonder the bad guys look like character actors on leave from Hollywood. They are.

As if in preparation for the carnage to come, the once-upon-a-time story opens in a modern autopsy room with two men, an American and a Korean, dressed in scrubs. Bathed in an eerie, silvery blue light, the American boss (Scott Wilson) orders the Korean (Kim Hak-sun) to dump bottle upon bottle of formaldehyde down the drain, on the pretext that the containers have become too dusty.

Stunned, the Korean objects, noting that the chemical will flow from the drain into the Han River, the fat ribbon of water that cuts through Seoul and empties into the Yellow Sea. The American grimaces, capping his request with a barely veiled threat (“That’s an order”) that betrays him as an emissary of American military might.

Fast-forward to a day like any other and the Park family running its snack stand on the banks of the Han. Calculatingly, goofily dysfunctional, with enough issues to populate a couple of 12-step groups, the Parks don’t seem all that different from the brood in “Little Miss Sunshine.” There’s gramps, Hee-bong (Byun Hee-bong), his three adult children — including an unemployed salaryman, Nam-il (Park Hae-il), and his archery-champ sister, the lovely Nam-joo (Bae Doo-na) — and only grandchild, the aforementioned Hyun-seo (Ko A-sung). Mostly, though, there is the family’s oldest son, Gang-du (the wonderful Song Kang-ho), an overgrown baby with a shock of badly bleached blond hair and a moon face that waxes and wanes depending on his proximity to his beloved daughter, Hyun-seo.

Bong Joon-ho’s previous features include a smart-aleck exercise in gratuitous nonsense called “Barking Dogs Never Bite” (they just comically kick the bucket) and the shiver-inducing thriller “Memories of Murder.” As he did in “Memories,” about the hunt for a serial killer, Mr. Bong relies on a familiar bag of movie tricks in “The Host.” But, much like Steven Spielberg (an unmistakable influence), he makes all those old tricks feel new. That’s especially true during the monster’s first attack, when Mr. Bong instills an initial sense of calm and then of rapidly escalating panic through his masterful orchestration of the various tempos created by the actors (walking, then running), the monster (swimming, then galloping), the camera (tracking, then racing) and the edits (slow, slow, fast!).

The opening attack is sensationally well directed, and if the rest of the film never quickens the pulse in the same accelerated fashion, it does give the story both its principal excuse (the monster grabs the granddaughter) and something just as satisfying if unexpected: a portrait of parents, children and the ties that bind, sometimes to the point of near-strangulation. “The Host” may be born out of sociopolitical tensions, scares about SARS and the avian flu, or Mr. Bong’s imagination, but it’s also a snapshot of a modern South Korea bordering on social anarchy, one in which a fatalistically obedient old-timer and his three preternaturally immature adult children face down a rampaging beast along with clueless doctors, Keystone Kops, faithless friends and even hordes of paparazzi.

Besieged by humans and monster alike, the family has nowhere to go but deep inside itself. This us-against-them strategy works deviously well because it ensures that the Parks are the star attraction, not the monster. Not that the creature doesn’t have its share of show-stopping moments, as when it’s caught by surprise in midgulp, a pair of legs dangling from its mouth. Or when it regurgitates a corpse into its lair with a slimy splat, an act it seals with a tender lick of its long tongue. It’s in this lair that Hyun-seo, her face and schoolgirl’s uniform flecked with muck, proves her mettle, retrieving the cellphone that becomes the lifeline to her family and playing protector to another child who adds a touching dimension to the mix.

Although some of Mr. Bong’s action scenes here are the match of those in “Jaws,” he seems made of sterner stuff than Mr. Spielberg. He can seem just as cruel, readily putting children in mortal danger, but he doesn’t share the American master’s compulsive need for tidy endings.

“The Host” is a loose, almost borderline messy film, one that sometimes feels like a mash-up of contrasting, at times warring movies, methods and moods. Mr. Bong would as soon have us shriek with laughter as with fright. But it’s precisely that looseness, that willingness to depart from the narrative straight and narrow, that makes the film feel closer to a new chapter than a retread.

Likewise it is Mr. Bong’s willingness not just to contemplate but also to deliver a worst-case scenario that separates “The Host” from run-of-the-mill horror and may have helped make it a runaway hit in Korea. Closer to home the film reminds me less of the usual splatter entertainments that clutter American movie theaters and more of another recent horror film, the one in which a newly thawed alien with a giant brain delivers apocalyptic warnings to humanity about its imminent future. I’m talking of course about the documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.”

Much like that Al Gore big-screen lecture, “The Host” is a cautionary environmental tale about the domination of nature and the costs of human folly, and it may send chills up your spine. But only one will tickle your fancy and make you cry encore, not just uncle.

AB, RS and I - lunch @ Pier 3

AB and I - lunch @ Pier 3

AF & JM @ Melbourne Wine Room

NP and me

BB & AP @ Melbourne Wine Room

Double chivas on the rocks - my bucks' night @ Melbourne Wine Room

(self-)censored almost to a crisp

Well, I survived my bucks' night (query appropriateness of the apostrophe). And early reports are emerging - BB, the man for whom the phrase unreliable narrator was coined, provides a version of events here

I planned to write my impressions of the evening but after some minutes work have given up the task as impossible due to haziness of memory, the necessity for self-censorship and the varied humiliations involved.

Snippet from a recent case

Was in court this week for a fencing dispute, which centred around the location of the new fence v the location of the old fence. One side claims that the fence is built along the same line as the old fence, the other claims that the fenceline was moved.

The other side were calling a neighbour as a witness. They told me his name was Doctor X. No problem. They call Dr X.

Q: What are you a doctor of?
A: Civil Engineering

Q: What is your experience?
A: I've taught at MIT and Stanford

Q: How long have you lived in this house?
A: Since the 1950s

The Doctor then proceeded to give evidence as to the location of the fenceline. As you'd expect, he was a reasonably credible witness!!!

My favourite Brett Easton Ellis book

A hard decision. For sheer impact, obviously you can't beat American Psycho. But I enjoyed Glamorama more - it is pretty cool; although on re-reading it recently, it is definitely a lesser work. Rules of Attraction is fun, but doesn't rate on the same scale. The one that troubles me is Lunar Park. It copped a lot of shit when it came out, but for what it's worth if you're a BEE fan then it absolutely hit the mark. It wouldn't convert non-believers, but I thought it was fun, funny, original, clever, a page-turned and a huge fuck-you. All good things. So overall... um... American Psycho.

We love you Summer: Rip The OC

OC Finale Spoiler alert

Seth let Summer go... and she came back to him. The greatest love story of all time ended with the perfect wedding. And no, scarily, I'm not being sarcastic.

In Australia we had the last 2 episodes back to back... the earthquake episode was a bit weak, but I thought the finale was pretty good. The full-circle thing with Ryan reaching out to a troubled kid was a nice touch.

There were some crappy elements, but overall The OC remains the best teen drama since 90210. First season Dawson's Creek was pretty good, but you can't beat beautiful but troubled californians for classic television. Summer, Seth and Sandy were all awesome characters. Caitlin was shaping up into a pretty cool character, and of course Julie had her charms. Obviously Kirsten and Marissa sucked. But the most interesting aspect is that after, what, 4 seasons I still can't remember the name of the actor who played Ryan. Like the character, he has totally flown under the radar and left basically no impression.

We LOVE the script - From Variety

Baldwin takes stand in Cussler case
Actress-turned-producer asked to testify
By JANET SHPRINTZ
Actress-turned-producer Karen Baldwin took the stand Tuesday in Clive Cussler's breach-of-contract suit against Philip Anschutz's Crusader Entertainment for an afternoon of adverse questioning about the genesis of the ill-fated "Sahara" film.

Baldwin, who with her husband, Howard Baldwin, an entrepreneur who developed several hockey franchises before turning to producing, first brought Cussler's Dirk Pitt action adventure novels to Anshutz's attention in 2000.

Anschutz thereupon bought the rights to Cussler's "Sahara" for $10 million, with an eye to developing a franchise, and gave Cussler wide script approval rights. While the Baldwins championed Cussler throughout the writing process, they acrimoniously parted ways by the time filming began in 2003.

Called as an adverse witness Tuesday by Bert Fields, who represents Cussler, Baldwin was shown several memos addressing key issues in the case. After a lengthy process during which Baldwin declined to acknowledge that it was her signature on the documents, the jury was shown a memo in which she called $10 million a bargain for a Clive Cussler novel.

Fields also showed her memo in which she had written that all of his novels were New York Times bestsellers and that there were more than 90 million Cussler novels in print. Shortly before trial, Crusader's lawyers claimed they were misled by sales figures of Cussler's novels, which, they claim, are closer to 30 million copies.

Fields pointed out that none of the memos mentions a sales figure. On the stand, Baldwin said until that moment she thought sales and the number in print were the same, but Fields showed her a series of emails involving unsuccessful attempts to determine the number of copies sold, in which Baldwin said the number in print alone was important.

Fields began to delve into the long and tortured scriptwriting process, which involved numerous writers and numerous revisions, including drafts by Cussler. In opening statements, Fields said Baldwin kept telling Cussler that Paramount, which distributed the film, loved each script, as well as Cussler's revisions, leaving him angry and baffled when yet more changes were called for.

On the stand, Baldwin was shown a memo she sent saying that Paramount loved a script written by Jim Hart and revised by Cussler. The script proved to be one of many. On Tuesday, making quotation marks with her hands, Baldwin said she realized in hindsight that when Paramount said they "loved" a script, it meant they wanted more changes.

Trial resumes today with further examination of Baldwin.

Bad Guy v When Harry Met Sally

With a big shout out to Lucas, I am proud to share with my loyal readers some insights arising out of the viewing on consecutive days of When Harry Met Sally (Rob Reiner) and Bad Guy (Kim Ki-Duk).

I have had a terrible flu / head cold this week, and due to generalised weakness and lack of concentration I somehow agreed to watch When Harry Met Sally with M on valentines day. OMG. Meg Ryan in WHMS must be the least attractive character ever committed to celluloid. I've seen a lot over the years, and the sex scene between her and Billy Crystal is genuinely the scariest, most repulsive thing I've ever seen (and yes I am taking into account Alien, The Descent and Freddie Got Fingered). The best thing about the two of them getting together at the end is that it limited the destruction their psychoses and genes could inflict on others.

Anyway, last night I'd recovered some of my strength and suggested that this time we should watch a film of my selection. Bring on Bad Guy. A Korean film by Kim Ki-Duk film released in 2001 (well before he discovered tranquility in Spring, Summer, Fall ...), it centres around a college girl forcibly turned into a prostitute by the title character as revenge for ignoring his advances.

What really stood out is the incredible similarities between the two films. In both films:
- the male lead is set up as a pig who doesn't care for social conventions or how his behaviour affects others (inappropriate public displays of affection and spitting grapes for Harry, inappropriately forcing a kiss on an unwilling college girl and looking generally disreputable in Bad Guy)
- the initial meeting between the male and female leads is highly unpromising and looks very unlikely to lead to an ongoing relationship
- the male lead comes on to the female lead inappropriately and this is held against him
- the male lead lets off steam by hitting baseballs spat out by an automated ball machine
- the leads take a long time to recognise their true feelings for each other (many years, boring conversations and failed relationships in WHMS, multiple rapes, beatings and stabbings in Bad Guy)
- each of the films is ultimately a love story about a couple who don't recognise they are 'meant to be together' for at least an hour's worth of film after it is incredibly obvious to the viewer

Of course there are some differences. Billy Crystal talked non-stop for 90+ minutes, whereas Han-Gi has about 3 lines of dialogue.

A feelgood movie waiting to happen?

Great article in today's Washington Post about a former hot young baseball prospect who went off the deep end and is now trying to get his shit together.

He makes the AFL hoons look like mama's boys

The Devil and the Son of God are waging war from opposite corners of Josh Hamilton's body.

As he guides his Chevy Tahoe out of the driveway of his rental house and onto Interstate 75, for a 45-minute drive that just so happens to weave through a minefield of ugly memories, Hamilton, the Cincinnati Reds' newest outfielder, rests his once-prized left arm on the door, and suddenly the Devil's menacing face appears, etched in dark ink into the skin in the crook of Hamilton's elbow.

As the truck speeds north on a chilly morning toward Clearwater, where Hamilton will spend another day working out in preparation for the best and possibly last opportunity of his baseball career, the tattoo devil peers out the windshield. Below the freeway sit some of the very tattoo parlors and crack houses where Hamilton years ago defiled his body and squandered his enormous potential. A few miles ahead, in St. Petersburg, the big league stadium where Hamilton was supposed to have been a star rises from the horizon to mock him.

The tattoo devil, having long ago survived a bloody, failed attempt at removal, stares intently, gently prodding Hamilton to pull over and have some wild, wicked fun. Like in the old days.

...

That was the worst of the worst," Katie says. "Bringing your baby home is supposed to be such a joyous time -- and it wasn't that way. Just to know he was out using drugs and missing those precious moments -- it was just so hard and so sad. I was devastated."

One day, Hamilton wrote a check to a crack dealer -- "A couple grand," he says -- when he knew he didn't have the funds in the bank to cover it. He begged Katie to put some money in their account, but she refused.

When the check bounced and Josh started to feel the singular heat of a vengeful crack dealer, it was Mike Chadwick who asked Josh for the guy's name and phone number.

"I called to tell the guy I was coming," Chadwick says. "He said, 'Are you going to be packing heat?' I said, 'Do I need to?' When I got there, I told him, 'Look, I understand, business is business. Here's your money. But if you ever sell Josh crack again, I'll be back here, and it won't be pretty. I'm not scared or intimidated by you or your pals. And I'm just a little bit crazy.'

"There is no question that on multiple occasions Josh banged on the Devil's door. And why it never got opened -- well, I think God spared his life, because He had something in store for him."

Awesome blog post by BB

Everyone should read this blog post by BB... the madness has the unmistakeable ring of truth. With perhaps a touch of Easton Ellis - hey Ben - have you been rereading Lunar Park - or perhaps a little Glamorama?

7/2/7- 1930hrs: Half hour late, apologies. ninemsn home page and discussion of the attention economy ensues. freelance vs relocal'g to sf gulch vs bronte views. no ladies and gentlemen this is not a bubble, but there's some interesting people with some interesting views wandering around the corridors. they may be stalkrs.

More Lara Bingle

Wonder if Lara had a chance to catch up with Brendan while she was in Melbourne for the Allan Border Medal ceremony at Crown Casino a few days ago.

Heroes

Only two episodes in (in Australia), and I am hoping Heroes can keep it up... loving it so far.

In a hard-to-put-my-finger-on kind of way it feels very emblematic of 'now' - which means that it may not last, but that it will hopefully have an awesome Season One (and if I'm lucky a pretty good Series Two).

And in the meantime the show appears to have created a folk-hero in Hiro - see interview here.

gnoos

Well not much has changed at the gnoos site since it launched, but they must be doing something right - i'm averaging 10+ readers of my blog / week who are referred from gnoos. Ok they're not google yet (and I'm not exactly a syndicated columnist) but they are certainly generating some traffic.

ouch! newton v satchwell - from the H-S

ACTOR Matthew Newton allegedly gouged the face and eyes of his girlfriend of six years, actor Brooke Satchwell, leaving her fearing for her life.
He also is accused of repeatedly punching her head on two separate occasions, at one stage yelling: "I'm going to kill you."

Police allege Satchwell begged him to stop but was ignored.

The Herald Sun can report the allegations in the case for the first time.

Documents tendered during his initial bail hearing, on October 16 last year, assert Satchwell did not seek medical attention for her injuries or contact police initially because she was trying to protect her partner.

However, when Satchwell finally went to Balmain police station on October 15 – a week after the second alleged incident – she was still distraught.

The son of TV legend Bert Newton denies the charges and has pleaded not guilty.

The documents also allege Newton, 30, spent time in a psychiatric unit attached to Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital. It was there police served him with an interim apprehended violence order after taking a detailed statement from Satchwell.

In the first incident, police allege a verbal argument became physical shortly after Satchwell arrived at the couple's Rozelle home on September 13 last year.

Newton gouged the 26-year-old's eyes and face with both of his hands before pushing her to the ground, it is alleged.

"(She) could feel the accused's fingernails in her eyes and face," the documents allege. Satchwell allegedly begged him to stop but he "continued gouging". The actor and director also allegedly pushed her into a wall, leaving her with injuries including bruises to her legs and hip, a cut and blistered big toe, scratches on her arms and bruises around her forearms.

Her swollen and bruised left eyelid was also seen by a number of Satchwell's colleagues as well as a mutual friend of the couple, police allege.

Three weeks later, on Friday October 6, Satchwell returned home from work about 10.30pm when a verbal argument ensued. "(Newton then) started punching the victim's head, gouged her face and dug his fingernails into her throat," police documents allege. "(She had) three or four fingernail scratch marks and bruising down the front of (her) throat."

One witness interviewed by police has told of seeing Satchwell's injuries, but also heard him say: "I'll kill her. I'm going to kill Brooke." While the witness claims he did not believe Newton would carry out the threats, he would be fearful if the actor "lost control" again. Police have charged Newton with four offences.

Freed on $1000 bail posted by his mother, Patti Newton, he has pleaded not guilty to two counts of common assault, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and stalking or intimidating Satchwell, intending to cause her to fear physical or mental harm. His lawyer, Chris Murphy, told Magistrate Ross Clugston this month the charges were the "residue of an expired relationship".

A June hearing date for the matter is expected to be set when the matter returns to Downing Centre Local Court today.