My wedding speech

I FINALLY have my computer back; F***N Volante took about 6 weeks to fix it. Thanks M for lending me your old computer in the interim. Much appreciated.

And very excitingly I have access to my files - so here is what I know you've all been waiting for... my notes for my wedding speech.
Try not to get too excited.
And feel free to skim through the thankyous at the start; the good (or at least better) material is towards the end.
I freestyled a little while up on stage; but I think I kept pretty close to my notes.

Samizdat7's speech at his wedding on 18 March 2007

Thanks
M and I would like to thank a very large number of people. First, our parents for hosting our wedding and for making today possible. My new sister L, who is responsible for our amazing invitations and for so much more. E, T, M, V, P and R for their invaluable help with logistics today. My brother D for his help in making today a success.

L and D for being supportive and beautiful bridesmaids for M. I would like to thank L and A for their speech, and also to note that their time will come. In fact for A it is imminent; she will be married in May. L may keep us waiting a little longer. M and L for their assistance as MCs. M, L, D and D for keeping the Chuppah from blowing away. M, J and D for being called up at Shule with me. And of course I must thank J for bringing M and I together on Cup Day in 2004.

Guests
• D & K from Amsterdam – after travelling more than 40 hours and missing their London connection due to fog– nevertheless I hope that our wedding is a welcome respite from an Amsterdam Winter
• W all the way from Kabul, Afghanistan – I’m sure she’s welcoming the opportunity to leave the bodyguards at home and attend a social function without the presence of an armed militia
• M & M from Tokyo – I haven’t seen you in years and I’m very happy that you could make it here today
• S from Brisbane – thankyou for making it down to Melbourne for our wedding
• A & J, L, M & R, K, J and E & M from Sydney – well the obvious comment is that today they’re being given the opportunity to experience one of the Major Events Melbourne is famous for

My family
• As many of you will know, I have followed my parents into the law. Proof that some people never learn, no matter how clear the lesson.
• I feel very fortunate to have found a profession that I love and in which I hope to build a long career. I thank my parents for giving me the opportunity to obtain an excellent education and for instilling in me a belief in justice, integrity and the importance of reputation.
• My parents are crazy about M; which is fantastic, except when I get the feeling they are much more excited when they hear she is coming to visit than they are when they hear I am coming.
• Thankyou H and T for making today happen and for the love and support shown to me throughout my life.
• Thankyou also to D and his beautiful wife K – I am very very happy that you are able to be here to share this special day with us.

M’s family
• Have been made to feel very welcome both by M’s immediate family and by all of her extended family.
• From the first family function I attended – Pesach at the R’s in 2005 – I have been warmly welcomed.
• When I told S I planned to ask his daughter to marry me at C’s first birthday party last year he avoided the obvious temptation to make me sweat, for which I will be eternally grateful.
• Thankyou all

Commitment
This weekend M & I have made a number of commitments to each other.

In plain English, a form of language for which lawyers often strive but rarely achieve, M I promise that I will love you, that I will be there for you, that I will work with you to solve any problems that come up along our journey and that I will be true to you. And that we will have a lot of fun.

I am so excited about building a happy, Jewish home with you and about creating a family together and of course about the adventures we will have together over the years.

M
Apart from the obvious – that she’s beautiful, smart and a lot of fun – what can I say about M?
• Never met anyone like her
• As you’ve heard, we met on a blind date. Yes it does happen.

• Less than 2 months after we met, M and I headed off together for a holiday in New Zealand. Obviously it was too early in this new relationship to show my true colours, so I said yes to whatever was suggested.
• This explains why on that trip I somehow ended up blackwater rafting, hiking the Tongariro Crossing, kayaking in Able Tasman National Park and staying in a youth hostel for the first time. And not just any youth hostel. For some reason M organised for us to stay at “Extreme Backpackers” in Turangi
• I really should tell you about my blackwater rafting experience on that trip. When M suggested it in the safety of my apartment in Balaclava, I said ‘yes, sounds like a great idea’. Of course I had no real idea what it involved.
As a lifetime claustrophobe, I hadn’t appreciated that blackwater rafting means dressing in a wetsuit and floating for a couple of hours down an underwater river in the inner tube of a truck tyre. In a cave. I think my veneer of cool was somewhat tarnished when I started hyperventilating as I clambered down and realised that the last of the natural light was vanishing somewhere behind me.
Nevertheless, going back (and humiliating myself further) seemed somehow worse than continuing. I made it through the next hour and a half by breathing shallowly and refusing to contemplate what was happening.
Eventually we made it back out. And I announced that never, under no circumstances would I ever be doing anything like it ever again.
• Of course the next year we ended up hiking through Khao Sok National Park in Thailand. A rainforest teeming with life. Dangerous, terrifying wildlife. After a further exploration of the true nature of terror we made it back to our accommodation, which consisted of a treehouse where the wildlife was just slightly further at bay.
Luckily it wasn’t until after we returned to our treehouse that I read more about the park and the leopards, tigers, bears, cobras, pythons, vipers, scorpions, tarantulas and other members of the animal kingdom to be found there.
• M has introduced me to jogging. Despite a couple of years of half-hearted attempts, the highlight of which was a 10km funrun (aka a deathmarch) M has steadfastly refused to make fun of my speed, style or stamina. For which I will always be grateful.

• M has boundless enthusiasm and energy and is the most positive-minded person I’ve ever met.
Despite 2 ½ years of trying, I haven’t yet managed to break her spirit. And I hope I never do.
• It is hard to avoid clichés at a time like this and I’m not going to try too hard; sometimes they really are appropriate.
• M and I are very different but our differences, generally, bring us together.
• She sees the positive side of everything, she loves life, she gets things done and she is incapable of accepting ‘no’ as an answer.
• She encourages and supports me to pursue my passions and embraces my idiosyncracies.
• M's confidence, vitality, optimism, intelligence and support give me confidence and mean a lot to me. She challenges me and she loves me, and together M and I are capable of much more than we would be separately. I love her and look forward to sharing many, many more adventures with her over the years ahead.